::. listenin to : gareth gates - stupid mistake .::

i feel so much lyk laughin at moiself, mockin at moiself as well as crying to moiself. its da eighth of seven. i should haf left for home ytd. i "should have", "if only" re da words i could use. da expressions to regrets. i've never felt so pain in moi heart b4. since he has left, life seems so foolish to mi. foolish tingys, many many i have done. dumb actions, loads loads i hate to sae. i dun blame him. he hurt mi. i shal hate him. but wad for? its da path i take, da choices i make. its al bout mi. i'm tinkin of loads of tingys. mani mani tingys re rotatin in moi mind. i haf committed too mani sins, too mani crimes i consider. i'm feelin guilty. stil regretin. i'm stil feelin sorrie. i'm such a let down. its juz a moment of foolishness. its not worth da price. y is da temptation so heavy n strong at da moment. its reali a lesson dat i have to learn, a fact dat i haf to accept. tingys haf changed, da aspects of ppl towards mi, da way they wil tink of mi, da different stares i wil get from them. i hated them. but i shal b strong n live on. to prove to mani mani dat i can make it thru dis heavy rain, i can stand up once again, on moi own, n i noe dat i'm strong enuff to face. i have to be strong n start a veri fresh anew on moi own. tym is passin, i'm wastin moi tym. ruinin moi life. da whole day was down, wif all da fear n pains terrorisin mi. da images re stil dere, clear in moi mind. evry faces, each moment, moi feelings, moi heart, da heavy breath, da strong heart-thumping moments, n da mockin of sum, da pointin n criticisin by mani. i felt so pissed, so irritated, so pain, even more pain, so hurt, so disappointed, so regret, so sadd, so so soo.. da feelin is strong. i hope it fades. i hope i could simply clear moi mind. i'm lost. its dumb i noe. its veri dumb. i've saw n knew al tingys but y am i repeatin it. it has happened b4. its juz mischief. i'm so sucky. i'm feeelin da pain in moi heart. its da whole day of pain, tiredness n sadness. disappointment. moodless reali not as happie as b4, i cant be. wad i can do nw, hope evrytingys turn out fine. nuthin turns wrong. i'm wishin, hopin n prayin hard. i'm sorrie. da mistake. i wil bear it in mind even i'm not alive. its hard to 4get, tough to not tink about it. its worse, worser den anitingy else. da pain, its da most painful pain i feel. i feel so sucky. i sucks. mummy, i'm sorry. aunties, i'm sorry. n to moi dearest daddy dat has been kept in da dark, if ever u find out bout it one day, i'm deeply sorry. i'm a useless let down. n to moi brother whom haf trusted mi so much, believed in mi thou' i'm reali wrong, thankeww n sorrie also. dun do dis, i'll ripped off yuuur skin n whack yur ass. to huiyi n jolean, i'm sorry also. i've forgotten al da morals thought. luff at mi if u should. i've lost moi confidence. facin da mirror, i'm lookin at a ugly, useless n sucky facee. i juz felt so suck.